Tag: Inner Wisdom Lab

Identity – Reconnecting to Who We at our Core

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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about identity lately – sparked, in part, to recently having a First Person Account published by CBC titled “I had a loving family. My life changed at 46 when my birth sister revealed I was adopted. My parents hid my adoption. But somehow, the truth brought us closer.”

I’ve been doing a series of videos over at the Inner Wisdom Lab Youtube channel where I speak to various aspects of identity and offer a few guided visualizations for anyone looking to connect more deeply to their own core essence. And there are more to come.

I have now known about being adopted for 17 years, which seems a bit incredulous. Finding out sparked an identity expansion in some ways. In a moment, everything changed, yet nothing changed – with respect to my life, my immediate family and my sense of identity.

Identity and Core Essence

In thinking about identity, I am curious about what is underneath personality traits, skills, abilities, life events … and, I have arrived at core essence. The most basic and important attribute of self that provides a sense of who we are, the inner foundation of being. This essence is constant. In this 7 minute video, I speak about core essence or identity and, in this 10 minute one, I offer a guided visualization for anyone wishing to connect with their own sense of identity or core essence.

Identity and Roles

Sometimes we know and sense our core essence with absolute clarity. Other times it is obscured by layers and layers of roles, expectations – our own and others, doubt, hubris, the minutia of life, disappointments and external successes collected over the course of a life journey. We learn to not trust ourselves, our own inner knowing or wisdom or what our highest self whispers to us along the way. I speak about identity and roles in this 12 minute video and offer a 20 minute guided visualization for any wishing to review the timeline of their life, the roles they took on or were thrust upon them, the gifts in the roles and the opportunity to choose to more fully inhabit some roles and shed others that no longer serve.

DNA and Chosen Family Lineages

Perhaps not surprisingly, over the last 17 years I have also thought about lineage – a lot. DNA and chosen family lineage. DNA does not necessarily a family make. As someone who has been adopted, I feel both of these lineages strongly. I imagine there might be others who feel this way – rooted in at least 2 lineages, if not more.

I have felt most closely connected to my chosen family lineage. One could argue that they chose me since I was a baby at the time. But, if you believe in soul choices and choices made before incarnating, then we chose each other. This is the lineage I grew up with and claimed as my own, since I knew no other until I found out I was adopted. It is very much a part of my sense of self. For a long time, my biological lineage felt abstract.

In more recent times, having connected with a biological cousin who shared the gift of all the genealogical research she has done on my birth mother’s side of the family, something shifted. My sister and I knew that our birth mother’s mother (our grandmother) had had multiple children with different fathers. Our understanding was she had given all the babies up.

I had no idea how many blanks were actually there until that knowledge was shared with me. My birth grandmother had eight children with five different fathers and had not, in fact, given them all up – only the first two, one of which was my birth mother, the second child, raised by an aunt and uncle. Now I have my birth grandmother’s name, and the names of her parents, children, and their fathers, as well as information about the relationships. Having knowledge of my genealogy brings a sense of balance and wholeness I did not expect even as I do not feel a need to connect with all the names that are now etched in my birth lineage.

Identity and Place or Geography

Place and geography influence and shape our sense of identity – where we grew up, where we live, other places that have had a significant influence on our own sense of self. Interestingly, this can expand beyond our own experience to include places that family members are from. I very much have a sense of French Quebec heritage through my dad and of Newfoundland heritage through my mother’s mother (yes I mean the family I grew up in for any who wonder).

My partner, Jerry, is strongly influenced by growing up in the US mid-west. He refers to himself as a flatlander who does not like edges. I, on the other hand, grew up on the coast in a fishing town. People in my family were said to have had the “sea in their blood”. I muse on the influence of place and geography in this 9 minute video and invite people who listen to reflect on what parts of their identity have been shaped by where they grew up or where they live.

Is Finding Your Birth Family a Good Idea?

I am sometimes asked, is searching for your birth family a good idea? One the one hand, it is hard for me to say since this decision was not in my hands. But it reminds me of the famous quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet – “to be or not to be” – although I am not entirely sure way. Searching for birth family is very much an individual choice. Not everyone wants to search, not everyone wants to be found, not everyone connects in relationship and not every story has a happy ending.

Having said that, if you are someone who knows you have biological family out there and are wondering whether it is a good idea, be aware of the expectations and hopes that you carry, and know that for some, it does not or will not answer the questions they are carrying. This can be hugely disappointing.

On the other hand, actually meeting people may not even be necessary to receive answers – like having my birth family tree suddenly fleshed out. And, for many, there are solid relationships that emerge and evolve over time. For my full sister and I, it is almost as if the 40 year gap did not exist.

My sister and me as children.
Me and my sister in Mexico - a year after we reconnected.

On the whole though, there is an invitation to embrace your identity – all of it. And in so doing, remembering what was here before the physical body and after it is gone. It is all essence.

Creating, Co-creating, Focusing on Inspiration

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In my desire to stay healthy and well – mentally and physically – in times that feel chaotic and uncertain, I am in deep co-creation with others and I am following people who I feel inspired by. This post offers a few of the resources and sources I find helpful. Maybe you can add a few.

My partner Jerry and I have been writing extensively on how to create and sustain a Healthy Workplace Culture as we build a year-long program for a partner. Through this, we have developed a wealth of information, strategies and processes that we are now building into new virtual and in-person offerings with practical guidance that will make a difference to those who take part in them. The program is exciting and energizing and we are looking forward to launching it in January 2025, beginning with free online presentations to describe the program and what people will gain in the 4-part online series we are planning to offer in March 2025.

We are also offering an Art of Hosting Conversations that Matter 2 day Intensive in Bloomington, MN on February 27 and 28, 2025. It is a nourishing program in a supported space where people learn and experience patterns and practices to improve facilitation and hosting skills and is particularly attuned to the times we are living and working in.

I have deepened my spiritual practice as a way to stay grounded and present. In this vein, Dana Pearlman and I are co-creating a series of spiritual and magical offerings under the umbrella of the Inner Wisdom Lab. We are currently creating a self-guided program called Invoking Magic, Healing and Spiritual Power Through Ritual Practices with the Elements. It is full of goodness and offers practical guidance on how to stay focused and elevated above the fray of these times. I can’t wait for us to make it live in the world.

The Inner Wisdom Lab that Dana Pearlman and I are building is a refuge for those of us wanting to deepen our spiritual practice of connecting with our higher selves, inner wisdom and knowledge. You can join the FB group or check out the YouTube Channel where we have an Inner Wisdom Playlist. Specifically, you can check out this short video where Dana and I share what our post US election emotional experience has been along with what we are doing to nourish ourselves.

Shades of Life Conversations, posted on this YouTube playlist, where Jerry Nagel, Tenneson Woolf and I show up and riff off of what has our attention in the moment. A number of those conversations focus on the power of story, patterns and trends that we are seeing and how we nurture ourselves or others. These are longer conversations, suitable to accompany a coffee or lunch break, doing the dishes or making dinner. We also had a post US election call and you can find it here.

A few of the writers, authors, poets and groups I find inspiring:

My news and social media consumption has dropped off starkly in the last months, which is great. It gives me more time to create, to focus on what is within my control and what can I offer now.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes wrote, “One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.”

We Were Made for These Times and We are the Ones We are Waiting For

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It has never been harder and more imperative than ever to accept the challenge offered by Clarissa Pinkola Estes when she wrote, in 2001, “Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.” And, as Gandolph said to Frodo, when Frodo lamented, “I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.” “So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

It feels to me like we are in an overwhelming, fast-flowing white water rapids period of reality and history. Honestly, conditions and circumstances I never imagined would be my experience in my 6th decade of life. But here we are. Until recent years, maybe the last decade or two, I naively believed that democracy was a given. That hard fought wins would be the unchallenged status quo in perpetuity. I did not imagine that human rights are something that always need to be fought for. This is the lull of having grown up and come to adulthood in the relatively stable decades of the 70s to the 2000s. What a wakeup call.

How are white rapids survived? How do we find our way? As the Hopi Elders’ Prophecy, We are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For, from 2000, says: “There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly. Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.”

To find our footing, we need to find a way to navigate the rapids and then find our way out. To do that we need to allow ourselves to be carried by the current until we find a place of refuge, where we can find our footing. While this is happening, we must avoid entrapment or underwater obstacles where danger can engulf us. In today’s world, entrapment could mean becoming lost in “doom scrolling” on our social media feeds or news apps. And there are so many places and ways we can find refuge – we just need to focus and to choose.

Here are a few suggestions for remembering that “we were made for these times” and “we are the ones we have been waiting for”.

  1. Reduce and limit social media scrolling and news watching. My own time dedicated to this has been significantly reduced compared to before the US election. It is possible to stay aware of what is going on in the world simply by perusing headlines and dedicating limited time to these endeavours, without staying long enough to be overwhelmed or to despair.
  2. Notice what is draining you or uplifting you. Turn your attention to sources of inspiration and focus your time on what uplifts you. Give yourself permission to do this because it is okay to find joy, laughter and connection to sustain yourself.
  3. Become aware of the conversations that drain your energy, evoke despair or anger. I seem to have a deep well of anger that surfaces if I pay too much attention to politics or the wars that are being waged – because I am an empath and because the harm to people wounds my heart and my spirit. When I become aware this is happening, I pull out my boundaries and turn my attention or the conversation elsewhere.
  4. Read the full Hopi Prophecy and Clarissa Pinkola Estes full essay as well as other poets and authors who offer reminders of courage and inspiration.
  5. Focus on what is within your control or influence and be or do those things. Sometimes it can take some effort to get started but once in motion it gets easier whether this is writing, meditating, activity, exercise, advocacy or whatever else feels meaningful or helpful to you.
  6. Deepen spiritual or mindfulness practices. They remind us that there is more to the world than the physicality of it and that minding our energy – what we take in and what we give off – is extraordinarily important and life giving.
  7. Know who your people are and hold them close. This can be family, friends, colleagues, authors, poets or people you follow who remind you of the humanity that is still flourishing out there. In another post, I provide a list of people and groups that provide me with inspiration. I may have lost faith in some humans but I have not lost faith in humanity.
  8. Create. Art. Crafts. Poetry. Other writing. Offerings that are in service to yourself and maybe in service to others. Remember we are not chasing perfection, we are evoking what is true for us in any given moment and sharing that to remind ourselves and each other that there are many ways of expression available to us.
  9. Be a spark of light. Este says, “Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach. Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.

Personally, I am deep in creation with my partner Jerry Nagel and with my dear friend Dana Pearlman (Inner Wisdom Lab). I share more about that in this other post as well as links to some of our work. Jerry and I engage in Shades of Life Conversations with our dear friend Tenneson Woolf. These conversations are timely and nourishing.

Take care of yourself. Pay attention to what nourishes you. Extend this umbrella to the people you care about.  We are the ones we’ve been waiting for and we were made for these times.

Inner Wisdom Activation – Step Boldly into Who You were Born to Be!

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There is a momentous shift occurring and with this shift is an invitation into expansion and expression of your full self. Many people are experiencing relief, a sense of being re-energized and even joy.

Is it possible that we are in a moment of significant sea tide of change taking root? For people who follow astrology or energy guides, all indications point to this time as sparking new, long-term cycles. As with any cycle, it means some things are ready to die and new things are birthed. The death throes can be loud, frightening and possibly even feel a bit dangerous. I feel some of this when I look at current political scenarios in both the US and Canada as I work to intentionally stay facing a future of optimism and hope.

Dana Pearlman and I are creating a space for a community of wisdom seekers: The Inner Wisdom Lab. We have created a Facebook Group as a starting place for this community and you can go there to join us. We are also offering a 4-week Inner Wisdom Activation Program beginning with the first 2 hour session on September 26 at 1:00 pm EST. Registration is $125 US for all 4 although the first session is free.

This program is for those of us wanting to step more completely into the gifts and talents we know we have yet have not yet fully accessed. The type of gifts and talents that arise from inner wisdom and knowing that we may have ignored, hidden or believed we didn’t have. This is an invitation to rise, both individually and collectively, to meet the moment, renewed, resourced and ready.

Inner Wisdom Activation Information

You find out more at the Inner Wisdom webpage where you can also find a registration link. During the 4 weeks we will cover:

  1. Inner Wisdom Activation: connecting to hidden or forgotten gifts and talents.
  2. Intuitive Triads Community Call: honing intuition to discern and act on synchronicities.
  3. Identifying and Releasing Limiting Beliefs: getting out of your own way – releasing fear, anxiety, shame and doubt to expand access to your inner wisdom.
  4. Sacred Inner Wisdom Creations: what sacred creation do you want to give life to now?

There will be other guided visualizations provided in advance of each week to support you in the journey and you will be invited into reflection exercises to see what arises for you from week to week and note any discoveries that emerge.

An Inner Wisdom Lab Video Series

Dana and I are having a lot of fun in creating this offering. We have been recording some videos to describe what it is, why we have felt called to do this, what’s involved, what guided visualizations are and we share some stories from our own experiences to give people a sense of who we are as well as a sense of what might be experienced. You can find the Inner Wisdom Play List here. Individual videos created so far are listed below.

  1. Inner Wisdom Activation Introduction.
  2. Guided Visualizations: What they are and how they work.
  3. Kathy’s Drumming Circle Story – an early experience.
  4. Dana’s Story of Reiki and Healing.
  5. Dana’s Story – the call to paint.
  6. Kathy’s Story – The call to Gold Lake (and how it connects to the Drumming Circle story from a decade previous).

Community helps us grow. Together we amplify our experiences and our access to energy and intuition. It may be serious and profound work. It’s also fun and invites us to laugh with each other. Come join us and grow your own sense of community and connection.