My one-year old grandson can walk… he just hasn’t realized it yet.
He’s been itching to walk since he could put weight on his legs, maybe around six months old. Around ten months old he figured out how to walk holding on to someone’s hands, and then by holding just one hand. Always his left hand in an adult’s left hand. And that kid can motor!
What he hasn’t figured out is that he can actually walk on his own – and he has. But it is running back and forth between two people sitting on the floor. The two people can be close together or as far apart as an entire room. He runs effortlessly between the two. Take the two people away, and he doesn’t know his own capabilities.
While I’m sure it will kick in soon, and I’m curious about how those synapses are firing in his brain, it also has me wondering about something else. What capabilities do we, as adults have, that we cannot see because we are used to operating within a certain frame of reference or with a certain worldview?
In 2020, a few months into the pandemic, Jerry and I asked ourselves if we needed to think about our Worldview Intelligence business as a virtual company first and an in-person company second. While we had already started down the virtual road, we didn’t know what we were capable of until we focused attention and resources on developing our virtual platform. Now the ideas continue to roll in and there are days it feels as though we cannot develop them fast enough.
What more are you capable of that you cannot see because habits or practices have hidden the possibilities from view? Where could a worldview re-orientation bring new opportunities into focus for you?
It is 2022. I am 60 years old. I cannot for the life of me fathom how the battle for women’s rights, women’s autonomy, women’s control over their own bodies, women’s equality in society, is an ongoing, never-ending fight.
I have always been strongly independent – to a fault, some might say. And, for the most part, I have been surrounded by men and women with similar beliefs, enough so to be able to ignore those with different beliefs, to willfully be able to see the world the way I wanted to see it, not the way it is (a nod to worldviews and Worldview Intelligence), particularly related to women’s equality.
Just in the last couple of weeks, there was the leak about the US Supreme Court’s upcoming decision to upend Roe v. Wade, denying women’s control over their reproductive rights. This will undoubtedly put some women’s lives in mortal jeopardy – once again – or still. It is galvanizing a public outcry which is good, but… it is 2022. I recently read the book, Looking for Jane, by Heather Marshall. It is a revealing look into the devastating consequences of not having choice; deadly back-alley abortions or being forced to give birth with babies taken away from their mothers and sold for adoption. Young mothers shamed for pregnancy. The role of the impregnators noticeably absent in these choices once pregnancy was confirmed.
In Afghanistan, the Taliban, after already banning girls from education, has now declared that women will have to wear the burqa and can only be out in public for “legitimate” reasons. Legitimate, according to who? And they will deliver harsh consequences, not just to the women, but to husbands and fathers if their wives or daughters are not attired “properly”.
I can barely believe this level of oppression and some small part of my spirit is dying, just knowing that this is going on in the world and there is nothing I personally can do about it.
Over the last couple of years, it is women who have borne the brunt of the coronavirus pandemic. More likely to be front line workers in all sectors including health care. More likely to have more responsibility for children who were supposed to learn from home, for others who require care. More likely to have lost their job.
In my young adulthood I was naively unaware of how alive the oppression of women still was and is. I thought feminism was a done deal, that women’s liberation was just the way it was. That women were active and equal participants in society, at work, at home. That the glass ceiling no longer existed. Just because I didn’t see it as a young CEO working for an Atlantic based health charity back in the 90’s didn’t mean it wasn’t there. I was too starry eyed and full of false bravado to see it, to understand how much feminism and women’s equality still needed to be championed. At the time, I was married to a man who believed in and practiced equality in our marriage.
Now, in 2022, I find myself filled with a disquieting rage at how dangerous the world is for women – whether it is violence directed at women, messaging that sends conflicting messages to men and women about everything from how they dress to sexual expression, less pay for the same work as men, double standards and pointing blame at women for violence inflicted upon them. Attempts through the centuries to keep women at home, subjugated to men. Naming women as witches, creating impossible scenarios to “prove” themselves, to do them harm – to drown them, burn them at the stake or other acts of violence to kill them and intimidate everyone else. I am reminded of this meme that goes around social media from time to time: why were we taught to fear the witches and not the oppressors? Because of the violence and intimidation. It was easier and safer to cower in the shadows than stand up for and with each other. We would be next.
It is hard for me to comprehend and experience, as a middle-class white woman living in a pretty safe city, province, and country, in a decade-long relationship with a partner who also stands for equal rights, how challenging it is to change these social norms, these circumstances of oppression. I know it is even harder for women of colour, for women in poverty or with less social standing, although domestic violence and oppression do not discriminate. It is harder for women who live in parts of the world where they have even less control over their own sovereignty.
I fail to understand how women, in my view, vote against their own best interests, voting against reproductive and other rights, like voting rights, that could grant them more equal status in society. Or how in some societies, mothers and grandmothers will actively participate in the female genital mutilation (FGM) of their daughters, actually and actively doing them harm. Although I do understand it is a worldview perpetuated in patriarchal systems where girls are supposed to be “protected” by their fathers until they are handed off into the protection of their husbands. Despite so many examples of how they are not always kept safe. These women are often protecting their own status and privilege – usually white – or perhaps safety in some societies, rather than advocating for rights and health of all girls and women.
I tell myself it has not always been so. That there have been matriarchal and equalitarian societies and there are some even today but they are few. That women have been warriors and hunters as much as mothers and gatherers. But then I wonder how far back we have to go to see this, to know this. Too far.
What can I do? What can we do? Continue to stand up for equality for women. I am the mother of three boys who are grown men now, two of whom are married. I know they are equal partners in marriage and child-rearing. They are advocates for their wives and families. They live and embody the kind of equality I have just assumed existed for most of us; and they make me proud.
I have not given birth to daughters but I am my daughters-in-law biggest fan and am grateful they are in my life. It is part of my life goals to always lift them up and support them in all the ways I can. Their families are my families and I am privileged to have an active role in their lives and the lives of my grandchildren.
I have a granddaughter. I am and will be her greatest champion. She already has a strong sense of self. She is one of the cuddliest children I have encountered, she loves connection – except when she doesn’t. And then she is fierce in making her desires known. And her family is fierce in protecting the boundaries she defines for herself, even as a toddler.
It is important to me to celebrate and support my female friends and colleagues. And the men who stand with us. We need each other. We need to hold each other up. We need to raise our voices and tell our stories. And we do need to fight for the fundamental freedoms that hold women equal to men, stand up against oppression in all its forms, to do what we can from where we are. It is for this reason I write. It is the least I can do.
For years, with a previous partner, we tried to build a consulting company that would make a difference in the world. It was a dream, a vision we worked hard to bring into being. Sadly we were not individually or together in alignment or coherent with ourselves. We could try to chase that dream all we wanted, but it refused to manifest. Upon reflection, it was an ego driven dream.
Now with my current partner, Jerry and I have been building a company, for close to a decade, that does make a difference in the world – at least the parts of the world we move in. We did not manufacture this vision into being. It just kept appearing and growing more robust with each conversation we had, each offering we created and every time we brought our Worldview Intelligence approach to our client work. We believe Worldview Intelligence has its own life force, sparked into being, hosted, through us and it seems clear, this dream needed both of us to manifest – not just to us but to those familiar with this journey.
In the early days, when we talked about the emerging vision, I would hold my arms wide apart to indicate the size of the dream and then show how very early in that dream we were by moving my hands about an inch apart. We are much closer to realizing the fullness of that dream now.
In the beginning we would talk to potential clients about how Worldview Intelligence could be helpful and how programs could be delivered across geographically dispersed organizations. The idea of certification emerged but building that program takes time. We were told we needed an online component to what we do. We knew that; but in the early days our conceptualization of what that might mean was very basic and we did not have the resources or the talent to build the online programs. But they were part of the vision.
As colleagues took an interest in our approach, they asked us for more than just the Worldview Intelligence Six Dimensions that we were excited about working with. This led us to creating our own planning model – CIDA-W: Clarify, Illuminate, Design, Act with Worldview Intelligence at the Centre of it all. Developing a High-Performance Teams model that links together many of our ideas. And, finally, we wrote the book, Building Trust and Relationship at the Speed of Change to bring it all together.
Because the vision was clear, when the opportunities showed up, we were able to take advantage of them. Once we had the book drafted, a client we had a great relationship with partnered with us on creating the first online program based on the book (there will be 3 followed by a certification process). That partnership advanced our understanding and learning of what it takes to build effective, interactive e-learning courses. We are now developing Level 2 on our own and populating our e-learning platform with other offerings. When we agreed with our client that we should build our own site, funding support appeared through Nova Scotia Business Inc.
The most recent developments are working with clients to create multi-faceted Worldview Intelligence programs to reach employees enterprise wide. Part of the dream. Something we would not really have known how to do a couple of years ago. A three-part education series of programs that include in-real-time virtual education of leaders across the organization, a four-part animated video series to reach everyone about worldviews and Worldview Intelligence (Worldview Intelligence for All) and scheduled drop-in “coffee” sessions with Jerry and me for anyone who wants to join.
Because of this growth, we are on the verge of adding colleagues to our team on a more consistent basis.
We have not chased this dream. It has pursued us. We couldn’t not do this work. So we host it. We host it into being. And we pay attention to what shows up, which seems to show up as we are ready for it. And we are more and more ready. Seeing the path emerge as we walk it, rather than trying to force things that were not quite ready, required us to hold the vision with as wide open arms as possible and keep putting one foot in front of the other until the foot falls came faster, momentum is increasing at an accelerating rate and we are preparing for our most exciting and successful year yet in 2022 as I enter my 60s and Jerry enters his 70s.
The US election result on top of Brexit, fake news, new euphemisms like “post-truth” and “alt-right” has left many of us reeling in our emotional responses. At times I feel numb, other times I am angry, often I am confused and I am anxious about the future. It is like world events are unfolding in stop motion and at each new frame I can hardly cope with what is being revealed or what it even means. How will I respond? How do I keep garnering my internal and soul resources to stay functioning in an openhearted way, embrace what shows up and focus on what matters? I know I am not the only person having these experiences now. My work with worldviews makes me deeply aware that we need to find ways to really listen to people with very different worldviews and the more different and more challenging our worldviews the harder it is to find presence within ourselves to show up to the conversation. And it is exactly what is needed now. When I look back on this time, I want to be able to say, in places where I do have influence, “not on my watch”. What do we need from each other to collectively say, “not on our watch”?
It’s been seven weeks since the American election and I, like so many people I know, am still in shock. I find myself going through the motions of my life, living into the moments as they appear while at the same time there is a niggling little curiosity that tugs at the corners of my mind. Is this what it was like in pre-war (pick any time period) Germany, France, Austria and so many other countries? Were there people who wondered at the inanity of it all, who feared for the future, who could see disaster lurking around the corner and felt powerless to stop it? Did they think the things my mind turns to as I wonder what the future will hold? As on a daily basis there are choices made that seem incredulous? Like all the cabinet picks who couldn’t be more opposite than the intent…
This is the first morning in weeks I woke up alone in my house. As I sat with my coffee, taking in more of the stories, today, finally, I cried.
It is just over 3 weeks since the US election. The world has fundamentally changed. Yet, for me, much is the same in my life and work. No on the ground ripple – not yet. I have watched my news feed spiral almost out of control with stories of anxiety, grief, fear. I have read so many stories of people who have felt the fall out, have experienced first hand the overtness of anger and violence that once simmered under the surface and now is being expressed in checkouts at grocery stores, shouted slurs on the street, hateful words painted on people’s houses and cars. Divides that are tearing families apart.
I have read the stories of people whose wounds have been opened wider, being re-wounded by the level of public discourse that has misogyny, sexism, racism running more visibly and publicly than it has in some time. More of the undercurrents we do not always see.
I witness the spillover of fragmentation, polarization and fear across international boundaries from Brexit, the US election, France, Turkey and even here in Canada where it felt like we escaped from the brink of this in our own election to new disruptions surfacing with various provincial or party elections.
I am heartsick that women do not support the emancipation of women and do not support women’s rights. I am aghast at levels of misogyny so deeply entrenched in society that some women will subjugate themselves to it without conscious awareness. That people see others of a different colour, nationality or background as somehow less than. That there are white men who believe that they are somehow entitled because of the colour of their skin and their gender.
I am heartsick for the stand off at Standing Rock, the difference between how that situation and white resistance is handled. I am heartsick for an earth that is bleeding and hurting and for people who do not want to see what is right in front of their eyes.
I am heartsick for those who pine for a way of life that no longer exists, that is remembered in an idealized memory, who want the world to go back to a way that it was or a way that they wished it had been but maybe never really existed.
Not being able to predict the future – ever, but certainly not now in some of the most unpredictable times I have witnessed in my life time, I do experience fear and anxiety about the world stage, about what will happen next. I hold the grief of my own experience and of all of the stories I read.
I have also read the stories of so much courage. People standing up, holding the space for others who are under attack, coming to the support of people through words and deeds, rising to their openhearted humanity.
I noticed for awhile that the positive focus, the positive, aspirational things I usually post got lost in advocating for and against politicians and political stances. I need to continue to be aware and definitely stay woke and gradually I have noticed a resumption for me of more inspiring stories, a focus on the future I want to move towards.
I do not know that I can influence the course of world events. But I can do what is within my power to do. Last week, my partner, son and I took part in a community dinner in Halifax, sharing Thanksgiving with newcomer families who have been refugees. We met a lovely Syrian family who live near us and it was a heartwarming experience. Four hundred people in all showed up for the dinner hosted by Engage Nova Scotia.
The Worldview Intelligence work my partner and I do is focused on creating exploratory space between people with differing worldviews – from slight differences to vast differences. And even though sometimes we wonder how to bridge the vastest differences, we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and bringing this work where it wants to go. And it is important work in the world right now.
I hold my family close and focus on the issues and joys that we need to deal with – report cards, weddings, careers, Christmas.
I hope if I am called to courage in a public space to support someone I may or may not know that I will find it within me to rise to that challenge. I hope nations find it within themselves to rise to the courage that is needed now. I hope that the seeds of disturbance have answering seeds of courage and renewal with more of us determined to find more ways forward that embrace the diversity of the fullness of humanity.
And in holding all my own conflicting feelings, in holding so much of the grief that is spilling over in the world right now, in a quiet moment all by myself this morning, with my coffee, today, finally, I cried.
I have also read the stories of so much 
Embracing the Stranger in Me 