The Truth Wants to Be Known

Stories of separated families, secret adoptions, long lost relatives have always caught my attention, even before I found out such a secret in my family when I was 46 years old – that I had been adopted. For a long time, the forces seemed to have lined up to keep it secret from me. But the clues were there all along. My birth certificate revealing where I was born – different than what I believed but I thought the administrators had made a mistake. There were no stories of my birth. I had recollections of my birth grandmother and sister, although I did not know they were my relatives. I thought they were friends of the family. Eventually it was a phone conversation between my two sisters and a curious bystander, a family friend who took to the internet as he listened, to proactively pursue a truth that wanted to be known.

I have read accounts of adoptions, twins mixed up at birth and more, and always, always events conspire even across great distances to enact chance meetings, new revelations of information, someone who can no longer stay quiet about what they know.

It happened again this week. My sister (who I met in 2008) arrived from British Columbia for a memorial for her father (my birth father) who died last fall. When his obituary was published in the paper, a long-lost cousin – the daughter of my birth father’s brother – contacted my sister. This cousin and her sister live here in the Halifax area. And she put my sister in touch with a great aunt (sister to my birth grandfather) who is now 88 years old and lives an hour away from me.

Sisters and Cousins Meeting for the First Time

Lots of excited visits and conversations. And different endings to stories. When I wrote Embracing the Stranger in Me: A Journey to Openheartedness, my sisters and I had been under the impression that our grandfather had died derelict as an alcoholic on the streets of Halifax. None of us knew what had happened to him. But our cousins – also his granddaughters – did know what happened to him – a story in and of itself that I might share one day. He did not die derelict on the streets of Halifax. Somehow he ended up in Northwood Manor, a leg had been amputated, I assume he sobered up, he was a model and favourite resident who spoke often about his loving family.

This story has been, is being, re-written. Like so many. As more truth shows up. Truth that wants to be known. And there are still mysteries to be unravelled in this crazy family, for sure. Especially about my birth mother’s side of the family.

My sister and I went to visit our great-aunt who is gifted in similar ways to us, participates in spiritual and meditation circles and paints. She paints many things but one painting in particular is very striking and one of a kind amongst her collection – a picture of a medicine woman, rising up from a big cat, a leopard. Painted directly on the wall in her basement at exactly the same time very similar artwork was being channelled for me for a tattoo and the cover of my book. And my great-aunt did not even know I existed.

It is not only in spiritual matters that the truth wants to be known. I have experienced it happening over and over again in work situations. People try to hide things, be secretive or are out of alignment with their own integrity or the integrity of an initiative. It is discovered or revealed in one way or another because the truth wants to be known and forces will continually offer ways to make it so if we have the eyes and the will to see.

Visions and Memories Can Be Whatever You Want and Need Them To Be

When I first became aware of my spirit guides, there were four entities that I tapped into regularly. One was a grandmother guide. I first became aware of her on my own, as I sensed her presence. For me, I sense the presence, tune into and then begin to “see” the quality, shape, colour, details of the presence. It can be whatever you want or need it to be and it will be something that resonates with you, something you need to be reminded of, you know or need to know.

In this case, I “see” my grandmother – Casey – my mother’s mother. She was 94 years old when she died but I never “see” her old in my visions of her. She often shows up in 1950’s attire and whatever age she would have been then. She is stylish and is often dressed as if she is out and about or ready to go somewhere – with a cigarette in her hand. She is full of spunk.

4 generations 1991

Two beautiful women: my mother – Mary Patricia Ann Ritcey Jourdain – with her mother  – Kathleen (Casey) Hackett Ritcey – in 1990 (the year my first son was born)

The same is true of my mother. I don’t see her as she was in her final years in long term care, physically diminishing with dementia. I see her in the vibrancy of an earlier age, happy, effusive. It is also how I remember her. Because I can remember her any way I wish and there are 50 years of memories to draw on. Remembering what makes me smile is good for my soul. Remembering what makes you smile is good for your soul.

These days, it is different guides and entities I tap into more regularly because what I need now, need to access, is different than it was then. But whenever I turn my mind or attention to my grandmother guide – or any of the others so prevalent at that time, they appear. Easily, readily, in the fullness of everything they have to offer.

The visions that come to us have valuable information. Trust the symbolism. It is specifically meant for you. Whether it comes from spirit or comes from your unconscious it doesn’t matter. It is meaningful and has meaning. Let yourself discover what it is and take joy in the beautiful images and memories that appear. They can guide your path and your intention, increase your vibration and allow more good to flow through and to you.

Use Your Contrasting Thoughts to Strategize and Problem Solve

Sometimes we become fixated on a thought that keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns. You can use contrasting thoughts to find better ways to move forward.

Kathy Jourdain's avatarShapeShift

There are times when you need to figure something out, to come up with a response to something, someone, a situation. If that situation is distressing you because of other people or their actions, you might have noticed that there is a tendency to become fixated on one thought, one course of action that you play out over and over again in your head. You know it is not a good solution, it will not serve you, the other person or the situation and yet it is hard to move past it.

There are often many things at play that hold you in that thought pattern. Some possibilities include you might feel as if you are the injured party and there is a part of you that either wants payback or wants the other person to take responsibility – after all, why do you have to be the…

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When Your Worldview is Insufficient to Explain Your Experience

Each of us is a multi-dimensional human being and a singular worldview is often insufficient to describe or understand our life experience. This post brings together my spiritual journey and exploration with some of the most profound work I am doing in the world with Jerry Nagel and Worldview Intelligence.

Kathy Jourdain's avatarWorldview Intelligence

Eben Alexander Eben Alexander, M.D.

Eben Alexander is a neurosurgeon who had a near death experience (NDE) in 2008. I am reading his book, “Proof of Heaven” because of my own spiritual journey that I continue to write extensively about at Embracing the Stranger in Me: A Journey to Openheartedness. However, in reading Alexander’s book, it is his use of the word “worldview” that has my attention. It literally leapt off the page when I came across the first reference because I am immersed in the work of Worldview Intelligence these days and I am curious to see what he means by it. The word worldview is showing up in many different contexts these days without any explanation of what people mean when they use it. As I read on, I realize he is describing many aspects of worldview as Jerry Nagel and I know, experience and teach…

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Standing at the Edge

Standing at the edge of the abyss

Noticing the void stretching in front of me

Nothing to hang onto

Nothing

Will it swallow me up

Drown me in the unknowing

And the fear

Or, will I stand here and breathe

Just breathe

Find my points of consciousness

Expansiveness

To flood and embrace the abyss with love

To transform it

Transform my experience of it, with it

To illuminate my fears

For the illusion they are

And become, be, love

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Spirit Guides. We All Have Them.

Spirit Guides. We all have them. Each and everyone of us.

I used to believe it was only “special” people who had guides and, when I became aware that I had guides – because other people told me about them, I believed only “special” people could access them. When I was told, by different people in different situations, that I was intuitively powerful, I didn’t believe it. When I was asked to access my intuition, all I drew were blanks and guesses.

Until the veil began to lift – just a little bit.

I first became aware of my guides because other people – psychics, mediums, intuitively gifted individuals – told me about them. I always believed in spirit so to have someone tell me about a guide was a gift. The first one I was told was watching over me was a priest from my father’s family. I asked my father if there had been a priest in our family and he told me about Bishop who died when I was young. I used to sit on his lap and play with his cross.

I was told about a master guide wizard who grew ominously large and fierce when protecting me from harm.

Kathy Sacred Tattoo Design

Sacred Art – my lion and a medicine woman – channeled for me by artist Tania Marie

Then I took part in my first drumming ceremony. The guidance we were given beforehand was to pay attention to animals that were coming to us. It was clear that my spirit animal was a lion, so many images of lions came to me in the days before the drumming. And it was / is my journey animal. In the drumming ceremony, I tried hard to have a vision and nothing came. Until I stopped trying so hard, surrendering to what was there – a sense of things that became vivid images – a meadow, then trees, then flying with the lion (yes, lions can fly in spirit world if they want to – and you can fly with them), then a bonfire with people chanting, laughing and dancing around the fire. The lion and I landed, shape shifting into one, dancing around the fire with the greatest sense of joy.

For a long time after that, nothing. Plus, I didn’t know what to do with what I already knew. Then, one day driving in rain pouring so hard it felt dangerous, I called on the support of everyone’s guides who were in the car and another appeared – a native American brave, young, strong with sharp features. And there are others and more.

The feeling of love and support when you know there are guides and entities in the unseen world who are always, always there is incredible. They are there, even when we don’t know they are. They love to be seen and acknowledged and all it takes is a simple turning of attention to them, just a thought and they come into awareness.

Many of us don’t go searching for them because we are afraid maybe they aren’t there, or we are not worthy, or we won’t know how to be in conscious relationship. But it is such a gift. To them. To us.

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My own first rendition of my medicine woman guide – she urged me to draw her during an experience in Brazil in 2011

When I became aware that not only did I have guides, but I could help other people become aware of and connect with their guides – discovered almost my accident that I could do this, I did that work for awhile – helping people develop relationships with their guides. Like so many things, it fell by the wayside for a while. Now, people who have been reading Embracing the Stranger in Me are asking me to coach them in meeting their guides. And I remember, that this is also work I am called to do, a gift I have to share and I am gifted with seeing other people’s guides, the delight they have in being acknowledged. So, I have been stepping back in and happy to talk to anyone about what coaching support looks like for you to connect with your guides. You do have them and they want you to know them.

Are you holding your sadness as a treasured possession?

 

5-of-cups-legacy-of-the-divine2Every now and then a question shows up that captures attention as if it was lit up in flashing lights. This happened to me the other morning as I pulled my usual three tarot cards from the Legacy of the Divine deck (my favourite) to help me imagine what the story of my day could be like. One of the cards I pulled was the 5 of cups. Not necessarily a favourite, I decided to open the interpretation book to see what jumped out at me.

Why do you sometimes cradle your sadness like treasured possessions? Are you afraid that the power of your heart will shatter it and force you to leave the safety of the shadowy misery you cling to?

Sadness as a treasured possession? Shadowy misery? Crap! And wham! Both at the same time.

A while ago I wrote about what is real and what is illusion. And I’ve written about my passive aggressive relationship with the law of attraction. And about limiting beliefs.

The journey of life has a way of dishing up illusion so we imagine we are in a different place than we are. It also has a way of waking us up to reality. Like these questions.

I feel the tremulousness of these moments in my life. Partner I love deeply who lives in another country. Re-imagining our work and our businesses. Feeling the pull of life, co-parenting, scheduling. Desiring ease and not always experiencing it. Am I cradling sadness as a treasured possession? Is it part of how I define my story? It is not what I want to hear, to believe is true in this moment but there it is right in front of me.

Am I clinging to shadowy misery? Am I allowing this to define and shape the story of my life in this present moment?

What to do about it?

  1. Allow the recognition of the response evoked by the questions. Yes, there is truth there. Still. After many years of journey.
  2. Invoke compassion for myself. It is a journey. It is not right or wrong or too long. No self-recrimination, just awareness.
  3. Journal to surface and release the patterns so deeply entrenched in my being that sometimes I fear they will never be fully released and most times now I can recognize as part of the unfolding journey – the journey to openheartedness.
  4. Meditate on the vibration I am aspiring to, to let it permeate my physical and soul essence to continue to attract my dreams.
  5. Take concrete steps, even if small, to show – myself, creator, the universe – that the dream I hold is the direction in which I am moving.

I share this because I know I am not the only one cradling sadness and clinging to shadowy misery. If this resonates, know you are not alone and follow the steps.

Embrace Illusion as Reality

Our deepest fear

We all have stresses, strains and fears that are alive in our day-to-day journey. Some days these are more fuelled than others. Some days it is easier to shift back to peace, calm, joy, contentment than others. Some days it is easier to remember that all we have right now is now, the present moment, and that this is where we find peace, serendipity, motivation.

Where do I focus my attention? Does focusing my attention on what’s “not real” – the dreams for the future, the visions I am creating for myself – does this mean I am ignoring the condition of my life, the “reality” of my circumstances? If what we focus on is what we get, then focusing on a current reality that is full of fear, worry and stress about the future ~ because rarely is stress about this actual day ~ only means we will generate more fear, worry and stress. Which often leads to physical illness as well as the incapacity to move forward with little and big steps. Is this the future you want to live into?

Einstein quote - reality - illusionAs I live in this place almost daily of discerning which is “illusion” and which is “reality”, I realize that, as human beings, most of us imagine the stress and strain of our physical condition to be “reality” and the dream of abundance, flow, financial security to be the “illusion”. It is a trick of the mind and when we fall for the trick of the mind, we lose touch with ourselves as powerful beyond measure and as an infinite being living a human experience – which is why this post starts with Marianne Williamson’s quote – to remind us it is our light we fear but that letting that light shine frees us and liberates others.

My visioning these days (even as my passive-aggressive relationship with the Law of Attraction continues) has been around remembering I am an infinite being and, as Abraham says, it is just as easy to manifest a castle as a button, just as easy to manifest $100,000 as $10,000 as $1,000.

We get caught in thinking we need to know the how – which is where stress and fear manifest. As Mike Dooley of The Universe Talks (TUT) says, we do not need to know the how – we just need to keep fuelling the vision and taking steps in that direction – even small steps – to help the Universe know we are serious and committed to the vision and allow the Universe to move mountains for us.

All of this can be hard to remember when you wake up in the middle of the night wondering where the next dollar, the next client, the next whatever is coming from. When you worry about your health or the health of someone dear to you. When you wonder about your relationships. When your insecurities loom larger than your hopes.

It is not irresponsible to dream. It is irresponsible not to dream. It is responsible to aspire to be your best self, to keep moving in the direction of your dreams, to remember you are an infinite being and you are powerful beyond measure. Do not be lured into believing current circumstance is reality. This too will change. Believe in your dreams. Acknowledge the twists and turns along the way, but don’t get stuck in them, and embrace illusion as reality.

You Are Worthy

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You are worthy and you are worthy of your gifts and talents. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise – including, especially, you.

It does not matter that you are not, thankfully, perfect. It does not matter that you have made “bad” choices in your life or choices you regret? It does not matter that you may have, at times, acted inauthentically, out of integrity or even immorally. It does not matter that it has taken you your whole lifetime until now – or later even – to step into your gifts. Have you been keeping track of how often you have paid the price – over and over again – for one of those “mistakes”? Your debt, if there was one, is paid. With an abundance of interest.

You are worthy. You are worthy of your gifts and talents. They are inherently yours to accept or deny. Although you may find they will not be denied.

When the time is right, when you are ready, in the moment of epiphany that brings on that quiet knowing, you will find the courage to step in, to step in fully, to claim the gifts that are your own.

Are you willing to put them on, embody them, own them, instead of wondering when someone is either going to take them away from you or give you permission to do what is only yours to do? Give yourself permission. Only you can do it. You are worthy of your gifts and talents.

You are worthy, even if you are afraid. The purpose of fear is to keep you safe? From what, you wonder? From abusing your gifts? You cannot abuse your gifts. You can only step in and allow things to flow through you. And they will. Because, you are worthy.

Let go of the self questioning, the self recrimination, the self judgment. It only gets in the way of the beauty and grace of who you are. You are worthy. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. Especially you.

Palms holding a beet shaped like a heart

Bargain Making Creates Unnecessary Dependencies – Break It Before You Set It

Kitten prayingHave you ever found yourself making bargains – with yourself, with God, with the devil? I would bet most of us have at some time or other. And, for many of us, often. And, we don’t need to.

Making bargains is a form of a limiting belief. It sets up a dependency relationship that does not need to exist and it may even set us up for failure.

“Make my loved one well and I will pray every day.” If my loved one does not become well, will I not pray? Is it a threat – I will only do this if you deliver? It sets up an unnecessary and unhelpful dependency. This could just as easily be two separate statements – a prayer of gratitude “Thank you for making my loved one well.” Or, perhaps, “Thank you for taking care of my loved well.” This latter statement might include making your loved one well, or might have other soul journey implications. And an intention, “I pray/meditate every day.”

“Help me pay my bills and I will work harder every day.” Again, two separate statements. Various versions of the first include: “I am so happy and grateful that my needs are taken care of.” “I am so happy and grateful that the money is coming in now.” “Infinite wisdom, open the way for all that is mine by divine right to reach me now in great avalanches of abundance, under grace and in perfect ways.” This last is a favourite from “The Game of Life and How to Play It”, a classic by Florence Scovell Shinn that is well worth the read. The second statement could be, “Every day I take action in the direction of my intention (vision, dream) for my life and work.”

“Give me what I need and I will share with someone else in need.” Again, a statement of gratitude, “Everything I need comes to me.” And a statement of intention, “I will offer an act of kindness to someone in need.” This creates lots of opportunities. It could be a smile to someone who needs it, a “pay-it-forward” deed, a gift of money or an offer of support.

“Please, please remove this person/situation from my life and I promise I will be a better person.” You can’t be a better person even with this situation at hand? Maybe being a “better person”, whatever that means to you, is what is needed for the situation to change. “Thank you for the lessons this person/situation is bringing my way.” “I am grateful this person/situation is illuminating where I am in my journey now, showing me what is healed and where my work lies.” “I am so happy and grateful I am the best version of me I know how to be.” “I do the best I can with what I know. As I know better, I will continue to do better.”

It is often through desperation that we make bargains and we are often not aware we are doing so. It is an unconscious thought pattern. It is through trust and faith that we set intention and offer gratitude even when we do not yet see the results. And it is a journey of becoming – becoming aware of our thoughts, behaviours and patterns and learning to shift them so we gain a greater sense of peace, joy and love.

What bargains are you making? What happens if you make them separate statements, intentions or prayers? They each become more powerful in themselves. Is it just semantics or words? Is it all about positivity? The question is, what makes you feel better? When you feel better you do better. You live better. You are more resourced. Choose the better feeling options.

Try it. See what happens. Share your experience with us.